Eat Pray Love By Elizabeth Gilbert

I didn't want to review this book.  This book has been around for a while and now with the movie being released I felt like it was a contrived effort on my part to discuss a book that everyone has either read, or now, has seen played out on the big screen compliments of Julia Roberts.   I wasn't going to write about this book... but after I was done reading, I found it impossible not to write about it.

Eat Pray Love simply put, is about one woman who decided to fly around the world in an attempt to get over a divorce, a lover, and in the meantime, find God. Even though the author and I come from two completely different worlds, I found myself relating to her more than I anticipated. She struggled with the idea of conforming into what our society has decided to be "normal," (grow up, get married, have kids, etc). Although this type of life is rewarding for others, she couldn't help but hear an inner voice that constantly reminded her that this type of "normal" life wasn't meant for her.  Just recently having made this same realization, I too find myself on my own personal path of self discovery.  And even though I didn't travel across the world to find out who it is I am, this book certainly taught me a few lessons about life. Mainly that when all else fails, and you don't know where to go or what to do or who you are... Eat, Pray, and Love.

EAT
Now when I say eat, I am not talking about sitting down and stuffing your face with ding dongs.  No. That definitely won't do you any good except pack on the pounds and drive you right into the depths of despair, and trust me, there are no answers down there.  What I'm talking about is something far more profound than food.  It is about pleasure, living in the moment, and not taking a second of it for granted.

I went to Italy about seven years ago. Although my time spent there was in a social capacity rather than a spiritual awakening, it was hard not to notice that the Italian sure knew a thing or two about life's little pleasures, which became apparent of course, around a meal.  My first night in Rome my friends and I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant for dinner. The meal consisted of six courses, all small sized portions but hugely satisfying.  They had the freshest mozzarella drizzled with olive oil, the reddest and juiciest tomatoes I had ever seen, red wine that I swear came straight from the vine, and a tortelloni ricotta that tasted like the dough had literally just been rolled out.  The food was so good it was like taking a step towards euphoria with each and every bite.  Midway through the dinner patrons from adjacent tables had pulled their chairs over to join us for what seemed to be a celebration of... nothing.  What began as four friends sitting down to dinner turned into a soirée of strangers.  I savored everything about that night.  The food, the wine, the people.  It really was a pure state of contentment where I wasn't thinking of anything from my past and certainly not worrying about anything in the future.  What we came to find out from our new friends at that hole in the wall restaurant, was that this was just another typical night for them;  a celebration of nothing.  We as Americans get so wrapped up in work, money, and stress, we don't have time to enjoy the things that make us happy.   Furthermore, we don't give ourselves enough time in our day to even find out what it is that would make us happy, right down to a good meal. I have been guilty of this the most these last few years. My idea of fine dining was a lean cuisine and a diet coke mostly because by the time I had gotten home from work I was so tired the last thing I wanted to do was cook.  This translated into many other parts of my life.  Not only was I depriving myself of what made me happy, but when I would ask myself what that might be, I always came up with the same answer, "I don't know."  This book was a reminder that sometimes, the world does get tough, and life gets in the way, but at the very least you must treat yourself to a moment, a meal, that gives you so much contentment, it takes your mind off of everything else and allows you to "smile with your heart."

PRAY
God. Religion. Prayer. These words evoke the same emotion within me.  Confusion.  I have never been a religious person, and I have spent more time perplexed as to how people can govern their lives based on the beliefs of someone else.  Now don't misunderstand me, even though I may not understand it, I always respect it. And my confusion is compounded further when I find myself in my lowliest hours doing the very same thing that I question others for. I of course, pray. Sometimes I pray to the universe, sometimes I pray to the sky, sometimes I pray to a tree. Because I don't know who my “God” is, I pretty much pray to anything that I think will listen. Sometimes I feel guilty that I don't have the kind of faith that others do.  That they can look beyond all the sadness and tragedy in the world and still see a beautiful earth. Sometimes I pray to be able to see the world through their eyes. And then I pray to please not hold it against me when I don't.  The idea of prayer, God, and religion in this book, is that you don't have to subscribe to any one thing.  The author elicits the help of gurus and medicine men, partakes in mantras and chants, and endures endless hours of self reflection, all in hopes to become closer to God.  What you learn through her experiences is that no matter what you believe, you only have to follow what is true to you, whatever truth that may be. The idea is that we are all connected and instead of looking outward for answers on whether or not God exists, you simply have to look inside yourself and seek God from within.

LOVE
The majority of this book deals with the author's quest for balance, although I never quite connected the two words until now.

There are many kinds of love. The love we have between family, friends, husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends... shoes.  Yes there are many kinds of love indeed, and after all, love is the most important thing there is.  Although I have been very fortunate to have had such an outpouring of love from my family and friends there are two kinds of love that remain a challenge.  The truth of the matter is I have actually never been in love.  This admission, although disconcerting, is important if I am ever to learn from the mistakes I've made in the past. Because I have never experienced this type of love its made me afraid of it, and I have even gone to the extent where I've pushed it away.  The author of the book deals with the fact that for the first time since she was 15 she is completely alone and can't seem to find balance, having been in relationships her whole adult life.  I am the complete and utter opposite, and oddly enough find myself in search of the same need for balance, and before reading this book, didn't understand why I couldn't find it.  Why it is that I can't find it has to do with the other type of love, the love that just might be the hardest to cultivate, and at the root of all the other kinds of love there is.  It is the love you have for yourself.  After I read the book I went to see the movie, (and if you're wondering, yes the book was better), but there was a line in the movie which I believe sums it up the best.  "Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself."  It is when you truly understand this, that you will find both the love and the balance that you seek.

"The 108th Bead" or "The End"
There comes a point in the book where it can get a little laborious to have to endure another sentence about how the author feels sorry for herself.  If you can look beyond the self wallowing and view the author as a messenger of the wisdom she received from the people she met along the way, then it really can be inspiring.  It also offers a great visualization of different cultures and the scenery she describes in Bali alone makes me want to get on a plane just to see a rice field.  I think it's also important to make this point clear- what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another.  In this book, for this author, she found her answers in Italy, Indonesia, and India. The answers you seek may very well be found at the beach, the bar, or your own backyard. The book is simply a tool to motivate if answers about your life are what you seek.  For those people who have mastered the art of life- you need not go here.

China Doll By Talia Carner

Along with my desire to take a break from the world of producing reality television, came an even deeper desire to get involved in doing something of greater value to help society.  So much of what we see on television has to do with exploiting stupid decisions made by stupid people who are single handedly deconstructing the integrity of the human race i.e. Jersey Shore. Reading books that teach us lessons about worldly issues and open our eyes to all the injustices out there can elevate our thinking and hopefully inspire us to get involved.  China Doll is one of those books. 

Could you imagine that somewhere out in the world right now there are hundreds of babies laying in a dark room with no one to feed them, change their diapers, hold them, love them, protect them, or tell them that everything is going to be OK?  A room where they lay dirty, helpless, cold and scared, and the only company they receive are the rats that are feasting on their faces?  This room that I speak of exists.  It's called the Dying Room, an underground orphanage that no one was ever supposed to know about. 

China Doll is a novel that explores the controversial issue of the one child policy in China.  It is an unlikely union that intertwines the music industry with politics and brings to light the cultural differences amongst the world's largest super powers. 

I remember learning about the one child policy when I was in high school.  The problem is that when you are 15 and sitting in Social Studies class, the only thing that you can fully comprehend is the fact that your hair is frizzy, the boy you like won't so much as look in your direction, and your friends keep passing you notes that asks a question requiring you to check either the "yes" or  "no" box.  The last thing that you are equipped to handle is the gravity of the one child policy.

For those of you who need a refresher course, here are the CliffsNotes.  In 1979 the Chinese government initiated a policy that permitted only one child per household due to the extreme overpopulation in the country.  In some cases, if the family resides in a rural community they may be able to have two children if the first child is a female or disabled.  Since males are clearly preferred in order to preserve the family lineage, this begs the questions... what happens to those children, the females in particular, who are born after the first child.  What happens is called infanticide, the practice of intentionally killing an infant.  The family often hands off their child to a government official and the child is then brought to a private and secluded building to be placed with the other children who have lost in the lottery of life.  There they lay, until they die. 

China Doll takes you on a journey that integrates Chinese society and policy with an American pop icon who can be compared to a Lady Gaga of sorts in terms of how influential the character seems to be.  Her name is Nola, and what starts out as a goodwill tour around China soon turns into an unexpected leap into motherhood and a full on battle fueled by the unexpected love for a child.

Nola Sands was leaving her first concert in Beijing absorbed in the cheers from her fans when an unidentified woman comes running up and throws a baby into her arms.  The confusion over how anyone could just throw their child away is compounded when Nola learns why a mother would rather put their child in the hands of a complete stranger rather than the Chinese government. 

There are a few things I loved about this book, it's not only the style of writing but the message it delivers.   It forces you to look inside yourself and ask questions based on your own personal trials and tribulations.  I think there is something that has happened to all of us in our lives that we may not know how it is going to affect us until a situation presents itself, and you find yourself doing something you never thought you would.  With China Doll, there is a parallel storyline that deals with Nola's past and explains why she feels so protective of the little baby girl who was thrown into her arms.

The other thing I enjoyed about this book was how it entertains you almost like a movie is playing in your head, all the while educating the reader.(In fact, I would love to see this book adapted into a feature film).  There are even song lyrics that accompany the story that make you get more emotionally invested in the moment.  I always said life would be so much more interesting if it were put to music.  Same holds true for books, even if you can't hear the song. 

Another interesting element is how you come to learn how the government justifies their policy and makes no apologies for the way in which they govern their country.  They fear that wavering could compromise the goal of controlling the population and threaten their economic growth and stability.  I mean...  birth control? Condoms perhaps?  Sterilization? Are these not better options than death?  And might I also add how the obvious often seems to be completely overlooked.  What about the two people conceiving the child? Because they didn't happen to fall victim to being the second child in their family, they seem to bare no responsibility to make sure that the situation never comes to pass where they have to abandon a child of their own. 

Aside from the bigger picture in which China Doll focuses, it is also a story about the human condition, loneliness, greed, despair, guilt, loss and love.  Even if you don't read this book, before you continue on in your day, think about these children and make a conscious decision to at least recognize what is going on in this world.  Although there has been huge strides in the campaign to put an end to infanticide, the fact remains there are still over 1 million children who vanish every year in China, most likely to this very fate.

Read More On Author Talia Carner

China Doll Book Trailer:

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo By Stieg Larsson

I don't have any tattoos.  Nor would I ever get any, mostly because I am afraid of commitment, however I certainly don't judge those who do.  I first heard about The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo about two years ago.  I saw it in the book store being displayed as a NY Times Best Seller so I picked it up to skim through it.  The cover was aesthetically intriguing but as soon as I started to read I found it difficult to follow and slightly boring.  Truth be told a few years ago I wasn't exactly what you would call an "avid" reader, so unless the subject matter pertained to Manhattan night life, dating, or dieting... everything was difficult to follow.  The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo found me once again, two and a half years later.  The book remained the same but the person had changed dramatically.  Once being a television producer, I was the cliche workaholic, always on my phone, never having any time for anything.  Within those two long unhappy years I realized I needed a life where I would have more time for myself, and a job that was more than just making some man in a suit richer.  I decided then to take some time off.  That's when I found my love for reading, and my new interest in the publishing world emerged.  I started doing marketing for a brilliant author and the time I found I had, increased ten fold.  So here we are, and how it so happened that I gave The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo a second chance.  The cover was still aesthetically intriguing, and the beginning of the book was actually still boring.  But then... it got better. 

The book reads as a modern day Clue, trying to figure out if it was Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with a candlestick type suspense novel. Which, I mean, who doesn't love the game Clue?  The only difference is that it takes place in Sweden, on an Island, and the list of suspects happen to all be related.  The rigorous part about reading this book is having to digest the entire families history. If you can get through that which lasts for about 30% of the book, then you can finally start to enjoy it.   This is one of those books where the sum is greater than its parts.  There is a lot of little stories all happening separately but it is not until you get to the end that you can you appreciate them. 

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is in fact Lisbeth Salander, probably one of the most interesting characters I have ever met.   It is her inner strength and mantra really, that no one should get away with doing something that is intended to hurt her, no matter how small (or in some cases how big), that makes her character so intriguing.  She is an extremely strong woman who has been through a lot, probably more than most, but doesn't ever play the victim. Another admirable quality. 

Have you ever found yourself in one of those situations where someone says just one little thing to zing you? And instead of of saying anything back you choose to be passive aggressive and sit silent.  That is typically how I operate, which is something I know I personally need to work on.  No one should make you feel like you are less worthy in this world, and if they do, then you have every right to reciprocate the gesture.  Lisbeth Salander, is one of those people who make you live to regret it.  I envy that. Of course, the book takes on much larger problems than just someone hurting your feelings.  I will warn you that there is a very descriptive sexual assault that takes place in the novel that is actually painful to read.  A large part of the book deals with the bigger issue of domestic violence and assault on women.  Another reason why I not only liked the book, but also respected it.  To be able to write a book that both entertains and brings awareness to the horrific atrocities that happen everyday in this world is truly a gift.

The other part of the book that I found slightly humorous, although I am sure it was not intended to be funny in any way, is the male figure of the story, Mikael Blomkvist.  He is written so realistically, its shocking.  The typical womanizer, who is smart and charming, but makes no apologies for the fact that he sleeps around.  At least he is honest about it, probably the one thing that isn't quite as realistic.  Mikael is a journalist who is hired by the head of the Vanger family to solve a murder that took place over thirty years ago.  There is one thing that was written in the book that made me slightly figure out at least a piece of the puzzle that I thought was a little obvious.  Luckily, even if you do pick up on what I had, it doesn't ruin the end for you.  I don't believe anyone can see that coming. 

Between Lisbeth and Mikael, their hidden secrets, personal agendas, and a race against time to figure out who in this "Dynasty type" family is capable of murder, you really do find yourself on the edge of your seat and holding your breath until the very end.  And the end, trust me, is disturbing.  There is just no other word to describe it. 

This book is in development to be made into a movie in America scheduled to be released December 21, 2011.  It is apart of a trilogy that is accompanied by The Girl Who Played With Fire, and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest.  I think it is important to note that the author of this book passed away prior to the novels being published.  He never knew that he had written, what came to be, an International Best Seller.